Today I Voted

Today I voted - once again. The previous elections were the first time when I became eligible to cast my vote. Back then, I voted for PML-N. PPP won and formed the government. PML-N formed the provincial government of Punjab. Today I voted once again - but this time I did not vote for PML-N.

My father has influenced my political beliefs quite a bit. He never advocated Imran Khan. His reasons have been manifold. In the morning today, my father did not know whom he would vote for. He did not want to vote for Imran Khan. He did not know if he had a better option. He decided to look at the contenders that stood for our NA and PP constituencies. He agreed that the PTI candidate was known to be good. He short-listed him and on a personal scale gave him further points for being Arain. Then he looked at the provincial candidates. He had some know how about the PML-N candidate who stood for the Province of Punjab and he was not in favour of voting for him. So having no better option, he had to stamp the bat twice! For me, history has already been made!

Another source of inspiration added in my life last year in the form of my husband. Though a supporter of Imran Khan, he has his own concerns regarding PTI's shortcomings. Yet, he clearly considers Imran Khan to be better off than the rest. He admires the political fervour that this political faction has been successful in generating in the past few months. He speaks for Imran Khan's seventeen years of persistent effort in maintaining ground in the messed up political arena of Pakistan. He sees people like Engro's former CEO become part of the PTI mission and finds hope in their struggle. He hears Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Abrar ul Haq, Junaid Jamshed and Attaullah Khan sing for the PTI campaign and his hopes get pumped up with the wide acclaim the party is striving to muster by approaching the youth, the truck walas and the masses alike. He participated in the jalsas in Lahore and took me with him to show the zeal and enthusiasm of the party supporters. Yet, he never forced me to vote for his liking.

Today I voted for PTI. As I landed the stamp on the party symbol, I had a deep regretful feeling. A feeling that worded that I did not do the right thing. No matter what the world around me said, I feel uneasy having voted for PTI. I agree the message PTI wants to deliver is right. I appreciate their high spirits and ambitions. I respect their mission and struggle. I wish they can do what they have set out to achieve. But I am in Pakistan. I have been living here since more than two decades now. I know the systems and I can sense how bad things are deep inside. The systems here are too messed up to set right. I fear PTI has raised hopes and expectations which will await quick revolutions. I hope PTI wins and succeeds in its mission and continues to muster support for its legitimate aims and ambitions. Good luck!